Tag : curahanhati - Asep Haryono | My Failed Trip to Jogjakarta - Powered by Blogger

Hello Mrs. Ananka from Scotland, Madam Mary Kirkland from the US, Mrs. Irina from Russia, and all my fellow international bloggers that I recently visited. How are you all doing? It is Saturday. Happy weekend to all of you!

Today is Saturday evening, May 16. I would like to share a little story about my failed plan to visit Jogjakarta. I had planned to visit my one and only daughter, who has just finished Junior High School in Jogjakarta, Central Java, Indonesia. Our trip was supposed to be on May 14, based on our ship ticket. I always travel by sea. I will explain why I could not make it. !

For those who do not know where Jogjakarta is, the Special Region of Jogjakarta called “Daerah Istimewa Jogjakarta” in Indonesia is located on Java Island. I live in Pontianak, the capital city of West Kalimantan Province. If you want to visit Jogjakarta, you can travel either by sea or by airplane because we are on different islands. If you travel by airplane, the flight takes about one and a half hours. If you travel by ship, it takes around one and a half days. !


The Failure of My Sea Voyage!
My son and I already had tickets to travel to Jogjakarta. The schedule was on Thursday, May 14, at 13:00 WIB (1 PM). All bags and personal belongings were packed perfectly, and we were ready to go. !

Suddenly, the Dwikora Port sea traffic administration announced that our ship was delayed. The departure was moved to the next day, Friday morning at 10 AM. Even though I was shocked, I calculated the timing and felt that we could still arrive in Jogjakarta on time. !

Unfortunately, a few minutes later, we received another delay notice. This time, the new schedule was Friday night at 22:00 WIB (10 PM). The first delay was acceptable, but the second delay was too much. I was upset and disappointed with the unorganized system of the Dwikora Sea Traffic Administration.

You may read : When it the best time to visit Indonesia?

I felt something was not right. I even suspected that the delay happened because there were not enough passengers, so they postponed the trip until the ship was full. If that is true, it would be hilarious and unprofessional. !

In the end, I decided to cancel my trip with KM Kelimutu. I asked for a refund, but I only received half of my money back because there was a penalty for canceling before departure. !

Delays can happen in any kind of transportation air, land, or sea. But receiving two delays in one day was very frustrating. By the way, the ticket price for KM Kelimutu (economy class) from Pontianak to Semarang is about 350,000 rupiahs, which is around 20 US dollars (based on the current rate of 1 USD = 17,460 IDR). !

I cannot upload an image of KM Kelimutu because I do not own the photo. I have a rule to only upload photos that I take myself. You can search for the ship on Google if you want. !


Story of My Personal Belongings!
Even though my sea trip failed, I want to share a story about some items I prepared for the journey. I have included one original photo for you to see. !\

Photo by Asep Haryono

In the photo, there is a selfie-stick tripod with a small light, some face masks, and a black cap. Nearby, there is a digital watch, red headphones, a green notebook with two pens, a portable Bluetooth speaker, and wired earphones. You may also notice a telephoto lens, which I use to view distant objects from far away.

You may read" Things foreign tourist always ask about Indonesia

All these items help me make simple documentation when I travel. The selfie stick helps stabilize my camera when recording video. I prefer Bluetooth headphones over wired ones because they are simpler to use. My cellphone does not appear in the photo because I used it to take the picture, haha! If I had two phones, I would have placed one on the table!

Now take a look another photo I took for you!

Photo by Asep Haryono

\
The photo shows several 50,000 Indonesian Rupiah (IDR) banknotes placed on a table. Beside them, on the right side of the image, there is a black wallet. !

Indonesia issues various denominations of Rupiah banknotes, ranging from the smallest to the highest: 1,000 – 5,000 – 10,000 – 20,000 – 50,000 – 75,000 – and 100,000 IDR. We also have coins in denominations of 100, 200, 500, 1,000, and 5,000 IDR. !

Each type of Indonesian Rupiah banknote features one of our national heroes, and many also showcase elements of our culture, hospitality, and natural beauty. !

You can get real Indonesian Rupiah banknotes at your nearest bank or local money changer by exchanging your currency for ours in your own country. Likewise, I can obtain foreign banknotes here in Indonesia simply by exchanging my Rupiah for the currency I want. It’s quite simple, right? !

Final Question!
My friends, that is my story for today. Have you ever experienced delays while traveling by air or sea? How did you feel? Would you also be upset if you received two delays like I did? 

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A Message From Asep Haryono

 

"Thank you so much for your time here. I really appreciate your precious moment here as well.  Please leave any comment down below.  Let me hear from you.  Greetings from Indonesia"

Tag : curahanhati, Keseharian - Asep Haryono | Grateful at 55: A Life Reflection on My Birthday - Powered by Blogger

Hello all my fellow bloggers wherever you are.

Today, April 19th, I celebrate my 55th birthday. Reaching this age is both a blessing and a moment of deep reflection. It is a time to look back on my journey the joys, the struggles, the successes, and the regrets and to look forward with hope for the future.

I was born in Jakarta on April 19, 1971. I come from a big family. I have one younger brother, one elder sister, and seven elder brothers. Life in a large family taught me about togetherness, sharing, and resilience from an early age.

Sadly, one of my eldest brothers has passed away, and both of my beloved parents also passed away a few years ago. Their absence is deeply felt, but their values and sacrifices continue to guide my life. Today, our family remains with eight siblings in total, holding on to memories, love, and the responsibility to carry forward our family's legacy.

As I reflect on my life, education has been one of the most important chapters and also one of the deepest regrets I carry in my heart.

I successfully completed my elementary school in 1983, Junior High School in 1986, and Senior High School in 1989. Like many young people at that time, I had dreams of continuing my education and building a better future. However, in 1989, I failed the national state university entrance test. That failure was painful and disappointing, but I refused to give up.

In 1990, I tried again, and by God's grace, I finally passed the national state university entrance test. That moment filled me with hope, pride, and excitement. I began my first year at Tanjungpura University in West Kalimantan, Indonesia, majoring in English. I believed that this was the beginning of a brighter future.

Unfortunately, life had other plans for me.

In 1998, after several years of study, I was forced to drop out of university because I was no longer able to pay the tuition fees. Financial hardship became an obstacle that I could not overcome at that time. Leaving the university without completing my degree was one of the most difficult and heartbreaking decisions of my life. That moment became my first major educational failure, and it is something I have regretted for many years.

Since then, I have continued my life with only a Senior High School certificate. I worked, struggled, and tried to support myself and my family as best as I could. Life moved forward, but the dream of completing my higher education never truly disappeared.

Now, at the age of 55, I sometimes feel that my chances to pursue higher education either in Indonesia or overseas are very limited. When I look at many of my friends from school and university, I see that they have successfully built their careers and continued their education. Some of them studied abroad in countries such as Australia, the United States, and several European nations through scholarships like LPDP and other international programs.

At times, I feel left behind.

There are moments when regret visits my heart, and I wonder what my life might have been like if I had been able to complete my education. I sometimes think about the opportunities I missed and the dreams that were delayed. These thoughts can be heavy, especially when comparing my journey with others.

However, as I grow older, I am beginning to understand a deeper truth about life.

Life is not always about titles, degrees, or achievements. Life is also about endurance, responsibility, faith, and the courage to keep moving forward even when circumstances are difficult. Not every journey is the same. Some people reach their goals quickly, while others must take longer and more challenging paths.

Despite all the disappointments and regrets, I am still standing today.

I am still alive. I am still learning from life. I am still growing as a person. And most importantly, I am still dreaming.

This 55th birthday is not only a reminder of what I did not achieve, but also a celebration of what I have survived. I have faced challenges, losses, and failures, yet I continue to move forward. I have learned patience, humility, and perseverance through life's experiences.

I may not hold a university degree, but I hold valuable lessons gained through hard work and real-life struggles. I may not have reached all the goals I once dreamed about, but I still have time to create new goals and new meaning in my life.

At 55, I choose not to surrender to regret. Instead, I choose gratitude.

I am grateful for life.
I should also consider myself a thankful man because Allah has blessed me with a good and intellectual wife whom I met in 2004. I married a young student from IKIP Semarang in that same year, and we officially started our married life one year later. Her professional journey has been inspiring to witness. She began her career as a kindergarten teacher at KB-TK Islam Al Azhar Pontianak, and later, in 2008, she successfully passed the Government State Officer test (Pegawai Negeri Sipil).

To make a long story short, she has become a very successful career woman in both education and professional fields. One of her proudest achievements was returning from Japan under the Japan Foundation scholarship for a teacher exchange program for vocational schools in November 2025. She has two different degrees: the first degree in English Studies and the second (postgraduate) degree in Educational Administration. 

Her dedication, discipline, and passion for education have always been a source of pride and motivation for me. I am grateful for my family. I am grateful for the lessons that shaped me. And I am grateful for the strength to continue dreaming, even at this stage of my life.

I must also express my deep gratitude for my two wonderful children a son and a daughter. My elder son will soon become a university student, and my beloved daughter is currently in Yogyakarta and is planning to continue her Senior High School education in Pontianak. They are the light of my life and the reason I keep striving to be a better father of my whole family.

Allow me to introduce the members of my family through this simple photo. From left to right: Tazkia Montessori Putri Haryono, myself, Rudi Maryati, S.Pd., M.Pd., and Abbie Muhammad Furqan Haryono. This photo was taken in March 2026, capturing a precious moment of togetherness

This was last year, when I celebrated my 54th birthday at my home. My family gave this anniversary cake to me. How about this year? I am looking forward to their surprise for sure. Wish me luck

Today, I realize that I have complete happiness as a man in this world. Having a good, humble, and intelligent wife and lovely children is one of the greatest blessings that Allah SWT has ever given to me. I will never betray this trust, love, and attention from my whole family, and I must remain grateful every day for what Allah has given me.

As I celebrate this birthday, I hold on to the wisdom from the Holy Qur'an that has strengthened my heart during difficult times:

"For indeed, with hardship comes ease. Indeed, with hardship comes ease." (Al-Inshirah 94:5-6)

With this faith, I pray for good health, peace of mind, and the opportunity to continue learning and contributing to society in whatever way I can. I believe that as long as we are alive, it is never too late to grow, to improve, and to pursue meaningful goals.

This is not the end of my story. This is simply another chapter in my journey.

Happy 55th birthday to me.|

Alhamdulillah for everything that Allah has written in my life.

May the years ahead be filled with hope, strength, wisdom, and new possibilities.

Asep Haryono
Kubu Raya, West Kalimantan
INDONESIA

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A Message From Asep Haryono

 

"Thank you so much for your time here. I really appreciate your precious moment here as well.  Please leave any comment down below.  Let me hear from you.  Greetings from Indonesia"

Tag : curahanhati - Asep Haryono | Lessons from an Unanswered Invitation - Powered by Blogger

Hello guys.  How is it going? Its me,  Asep Haryono from Indonesia

I miss you all so much especially my fave bloggers like Mrs Ananka from Scotland , Mrs Irina from Russia, and Mrs Mary Kirkland from The United States of America. I really miss you all.  I really do
 
One month ago, around the end of March, I experienced a simple event that at first seemed ordinary, but later gave me a deep lesson. It was not about a big problem or a conflict. It was only about an invitation to gather at my house that did not receive a response as I expected.

As human beings, we have all been in a situation where we wait. We wait for news, for an answer, or for someone's presence. In this experience, I learned that waiting without certainty can be emotionally tiring, even if the situation looks small from the outside.

I have something to share with you in this article.

Please sit back and relax, my friends.

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The Beginning: A Good Intention
At that time, I planned to hold a small gathering at my home. It was not a big celebration. I simply wanted to build friendship with my co-workers who work together with me every day. I invited about twelve friends from one team through our WhatsApp group.

I sent the invitation on Wednesday, March 25th, at 10 a.m. in the morning at my home. I clearly mentioned the date, time, and place, and I hoped they could come to have a friendly conversation while enjoying simple food.

This is my house located in Duta Bandara Complex neighborhood in West Kalimantan , Indonesia. My house nears to Supadio International Airport, only 5-minute drive from my house. By the way, One day I will make a short online tour for you guys up here. Just like online tour to my house someday. I hope so and I know so. Photo Asep Haryono

Together with my family, we started to prepare everything. We cleaned the house, prepared meals, and set aside our time to welcome guests.

For me, inviting people to my home is not just a formality. There is a sense of responsibility as a host. There is a desire to give the best welcome, even in a simple way. There is also hope that the meeting can strengthen relationships and create a warm atmosphere.


The Waiting Day
The day finally arrived. Since the morning, we were ready. The table was prepared, the food was ready, and the house felt more lively. As a host, I felt excited to wait for the guests to come.

I prepared delicious food, including meatballs (bakso), tasty cakes, and non-alcoholic drinks. Most of my friends who were invited are Muslims, including myself. There is only one Christian, who was also very warmly welcomed to join.

But time kept moving.

Morning changed to afternoon. Afternoon changed to evening. Evening changed to night.

Until the end of the day, not one of them came. More than that, there was no message or news to tell me whether they would come or not.

At that moment, honestly, I felt disappointed. Not because they did not come, but because I was waiting without certainty. The feeling of waiting was the hardest part. We had prepared time, energy, and attention, but we did not receive any information.

I believe many people have experienced a similar situation. It is not about how big the event is, but about the feeling of being respected or not respected.


Learning to Calm My Heart
After the event passed, I tried to calm myself and see the situation from a wider point of view. I asked myself: maybe they had other responsibilities? Maybe something unexpected happened that made them unable to come?

In real life, not everything goes according to plan. Everyone has family duties, work responsibilities, and personal matters that sometimes cannot be left behind. It is possible that they wanted to come, but the situation did not allow them to do so.

Thinking about these possibilities made my heart more peaceful. I learned not to judge too quickly. I learned that in social relationships, empathy is very important.


A Positive Development
A few days after that event, something changed. Some of them contacted me through messages. They apologized and explained the reasons for their absence. Some were out of town, some had family matters, and others faced sudden situations.

Later, on another occasion, they came to visit my house. The meeting was short, maybe only ten to fifteen minutes. We talked casually, laughed together, and enjoyed simple food.

The atmosphere, which was once uncomfortable, slowly became relaxed. There was no long discussion about the past. There was no anger or desire to blame anyone. There was only a wish to keep our relationship good.

At that moment, I realized that sometimes problems do not need complicated solutions. Simple presence, a smile, and good intention are often enough.


The Lesson I Learned
From that experience, I learned one important lesson that is very simple but often forgotten: giving information is a form of respect.

When someone invites us, it means they have given their time, energy, and sometimes money to welcome us. Therefore, if we cannot attend, we should inform them as soon as possible.

Giving information is not only about politeness, but also about empathy. By informing others, we help them manage their time and feelings. We show that we respect their effort.

On the other hand, as a host, I also learned to be more patient and understanding. Not every absence means a lack of care. Sometimes it is only a communication problem or an unexpected situation.


Turning Experience into a Reminder
Since that time, I have tried to apply this lesson in my daily life. Every time I receive an invitation and cannot attend, I try to send a message quickly. Even a short message can help maintain a good relationship.

This experience also made me more careful in responding to social situations. I do not easily feel offended. I try to see things with a calmer mind and a more open heart.

Because in the end, relationships between people are not only about coming or not coming, but about how we respect each other.


Personal Reflection
Now, when I remember that event, I no longer feel disappointed. Instead, I feel grateful because I received a valuable lesson.

I realize that in social life, small actions can have a big impact. A short message, simple information, or a small explanation can make a big difference in keeping good relationships.

This experience taught me to be more sensitive to other people's feelings. It taught me to be more patient when things do not go as expected. Most importantly, it taught me to continue learning to become a better person.

Because life is not about who is right or wrong, but about how we learn from every experience


How about you my friends?
Have you ever experienced a similar situation, waiting for someone who did not come without any message? Or maybe you once forgot to inform someone that you could not attend an invitation?

Let us learn together from this experience. Start from a simple habit: if you cannot come, give information. If you receive an invitation, respect the time and effort of the person who invited you.

If you have a similar story or lesson, feel free to share it in the comment section. Your story may inspire others. Because in the end, good relationships are built on mutual respect.    

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A Message From Asep Haryono

 

"Thank you so much for your time here. I really appreciate your precious moment here as well.  Please leave any comment down below.  Let me hear from you.  Greetings from Indonesia"

Tag : curahanhati - Asep Haryono | Selamat Jalan Mas Eddy Setyawan. - Powered by Blogger

Disclaimer:

I would like to apologize that today’s article is written in Bahasa Indonesia, intended mainly for Indonesian readers and bloggers. Since my blog is bilingual, English and Indonesian, sometimes write posts in Indonesian just as often as I do in English. For my international visitors, especially bloggers from English-speaking countries or other parts of the world, you can easily use Google Translate to help you understand the content of my blog posts written in Bahasa Indonesia.

This article is dedicated to, and in remembrance of, one of my best friends, Mas Eddy Setyawan, who passed away at UNTAN Hospital on Saturday, October 25th, 2025.

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Kenangan Bersama Mas Eddy Setyawan. Sahabat yang Tak Akan Kulupa
By Asep Haryono

Ada beberapa orang dalam hidup kita yang hadir bukan sekadar untuk singgah, tapi untuk meninggalkan jejak yang dalam di hati. Bagi saya, salah satunya adalah Mas Eddy Setyawan seorang sahabat, rekan, dan pribadi hangat yang kini telah berpulang menghadap Allah SWT

Kami pertama kali berkenalan beberapa tahun lalu. Dari obrolan ringan di WhatsApp, hubungan kami berkembang menjadi pertemanan yang penuh canda, keakraban, dan saling menghargai. Percakapan kami sederhana, tapi selalu bermakna. Salah satu pesan awal dariku masih terasa hangat di ingatan:

“Assalamualaikum Wr Wb Mas Eddy Setyawan. Smoga masih ingat dirikuh hihihi

Dan ia membalas dengan gaya khasnya yang santai tapi ramah:

“Wa’alaikum salam. Ingat lah. Gimana Kang Guru?”

Sejak saat itu, obrolan kami terus berlanjut tentang rencana bertemu, tentang pekerjaan, bahkan tentang hal-hal kecil yang membuat hari terasa lebih ringan. Saya masih ingat ketika kami berencana bertemu di Kafe Kedai Kayu, sambil ngopi dan bersilaturahmi. Namun hari itu hujan turun, dan Mas Eddy dengan cepat mengusulkan,

“Ke rumah saya aja, Kang. JNE Paris 2 Pontianak. Saya tunggu secepatnya. Aku masih banyak kerjaan soalnya.”

Begitulah beliau selalu penuh perhatian, praktis, dan tetap ramah meski sedang sibuk. Dalam percakapan kami, saya bisa merasakan betapa tulusnya beliau. Tidak ada jarak, tidak ada basa-basi berlebihan hanya komunikasi yang jujur dari hati ke hati.


Kabar Duka
Kabar duka datang dari Mas Edi Suprianto dari Borneo istimewa yang mengabarkan Mas Eddy Setyawan telah wafat. Bagai dentuman keras menggelegar di telinga saya mendengarnya

Chat Terakhir saya dengan Almarhum Mas Eddy Setyawan,
hari itu 15 Oktober 2025

Begitu tiba-tiba. Sosok sahabat, rekan, dan saudara yang begitu hangat, Mas Eddy Setyawan telah berpulang ke hadirat Allah SWT. Tidak ada kata yang cukup untuk menggambarkan rasa kehilangan yang begitu dalam. Obrolan WA saya yang terakhir tertanggal 15 Oktober 2025 menjadi obrolan WA saya yang terakhir bersama Almarhum

Beliau dikenal sebagai pribadi yang rendah hati, penuh semangat, dan selalu menebarkan kebaikan kepada siapa pun di sekitarnya. Dalam setiap percakapan, dalam setiap tawa, dan dalam setiap bantuan kecil yang beliau berikan, tersimpan nilai ketulusan yang begitu besar.

Kadang, obrolan kami juga diwarnai tawa dan candaan ringan. Tentang SIM dan STNK yang mati, tentang hujan yang turun di tengah perjalanan, bahkan tentang hal-hal kecil yang kini terasa begitu berharga. Kini, setiap kali saya membaca kembali percakapan kami, ada rasa haru yang sulit dijelaskan.

Kehilangan ini bukan hanya milik saya, tetapi juga bagi semua orang yang pernah bersinggungan dengan kebaikan almarhum. Semoga segala amal ibadah beliau diterima di sisi Allah SWT, diampuni segala kesalahannya, dan diberikan tempat terbaik di surga-Nya.

Mas Eddy bukan hanya seorang sahabat. Ia adalah seseorang yang selalu siap membantu, tanpa banyak bicara, tanpa pamrih. Dalam dunia yang serba cepat ini, kehadiran orang seperti beliau adalah anugerah.

Kini, setelah beliau tiada, kenangan itu menjadi bagian dari perjalanan hidup saya kenangan yang tidak akan pernah pudar.

“Matur suwun, Mas Eddy,” tulisku dulu dengan ringan. Tapi sekarang, kalimat itu terasa jauh lebih dalam. Terima kasih atas setiap percakapan, setiap tawa, dan setiap waktu yang kita bagi.

"Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un.
Semoga Allah SWT memberikan kekuatan dan ketabahan kepada keluarga yang ditinggalkan, serta melapangkan jalan bagi almarhum menuju tempat yang penuh cahaya dan kedamaian."

Amin ya Rabbal ‘alamin.

Selamat jalan, sahabatku Mas Eddy Setyawan

Kami akan selalu menyertaimu dalam doa

Semoga Allah SWT menempatkanmu di tempat terbaik di sisi-Nya.Amin.

اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لَهُ وَارْحَمْهُ وَعَافِهِ وَاعْفُ عَنْهُ

“Ya Allah, ampunilah dia, rahmatilah dia, selamatkanlah dia, dan maafkanlah segala kesalahannya.”

Asep Haryono
Komplek Duta Bandara
Ayani 2 Supadio, Kubu Raya

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A Message From Asep Haryono

 

"Thank you so much for your time here. I really appreciate your precious moment here as well.  Please leave any comment down below.  Let me hear from you.  Greetings from Indonesia"

Tag : curahanhati, Keseharian - Asep Haryono | Forest Honey: I Started My very first online business - Powered by Blogger

Starting something from scratch is never easy but that’s exactly what I’m doing. With nothing but an idea and a bit of courage, I’ve decided to start my own online business. The first product I’m focusing on? Forest honey.

Why forest honey? Well, it’s not only natural and delicious, but it’s also great for health and cooking. Even though many people are already selling the same product, I believe I can make mine different not by changing the honey itself, but through my service.

I want to build my reputation on being fast, responsive, and helpful. If a customer places an order, I’ll deliver it as soon as I can. I want them to feel special, like they’re getting something more than just honey they’re getting care, trust, and great service.

Right now, I’m working in partnership with a friend who owns the production he has the labels, the packaging system, and the product itself. His name is Eddy Setiawan. He was alumni of Gadjah Mada University in Jogjakarta. His other core business was sending Kratom to international customers

Forst Honey of Kalimantan

I’m working as a reseller or dropshipper at first until One day he offered me to stock the product of forest honey at my house so that I can focus on finding new way of promoting and getting customers for the product. The commission he offered was competitive and interesting. Ok I am down

Wow. Its cool. For me, it’s a big step.

My short-term plan is to promote the honey in my own neighborhood first. Real connections, face-to-face offers, and even casual chats with neighbors can go a long way. Once the stock is in my hands, I’ll start delivering it locally while also promoting through social media Instagram, WhatsApp, Facebook, maybe even TikTok. I am not really good at the TikTok by the way

Of course, my dreams don’t stop there. If this small effort works, I hope to expand to different cities, islands, and maybe even internationally. But for now, I’m focusing on one thing at a time. And while I do have access to other potential products like kratom, lempok durian, and crispy crackers I’ve decided to focus only on honey for now. One step at a time.

Ready to send to customers with cute packaging

Kalimantan Forest Honey 0.5 kg packaging

Kalimantan Forest Honey Packaged 1 kg

Wild Honey Packaging READY to Ship

1 US Dollar =

16.355 Indonesian Rupiah

Last updated · August 6th,  at 9:00 PM UTC

To support this business, I’ve already designed banners, brochures, and leaflets. I plan to combine ground promotion with digital marketing, because I believe both are powerful. A standing banner near my home, flyers for neighbors, and business cards are just as important as an Instagram post or WhatsApp story. It’s all about showing people I’m here, I’m ready, and I’m serious.

Yes, I still have a lot to learn marketing systems, advanced strategies, and maybe even creating my own brand in the future. But I’m not in a rush. Every big journey starts with a single step. This is mine.

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A Message From Asep Haryono

 

"Thank you so much for your time here. I really appreciate your precious moment here as well.  Please leave any comment down below.  Let me hear from you.  Greetings from Indonesia"

Tag : curahanhati, Keseharian - Asep Haryono | Why Do Westerners Kiss So Much? A Cultural Perspective from My Eyes - Powered by Blogger

I’ve watched countless Western movies romantic comedies, family dramas, even light-hearted sitcoms and one thing keeps catching my attention: kissing everywhere. Not just between lovers, but sometimes between friends, neighbors, or even family members. And I’m not just talking about a polite kiss on the cheek sometimes it’s a real kiss on the lips! As someone from Indonesia, I couldn't help but wonder, "Is this really how they live in real life?"

I try to find out and dive into this fascinating part of Western culture and see what’s really going on.

Minimal illustration of people kissing in different relationships on a beige background

First, Not All Kisses Mean Romance
In many Western cultures, kissing isn’t always romantic. Shocking, I know. In places like France, Italy, or Spain, greeting someone with a kiss on the cheek is totally normal even between men. It’s kind of like our handshake, but more personal. It says, “Hey, we’re close. We’re comfortable.” You’ll see this mostly between friends or family.

But here’s the twist: in the U.S. or U.K., cheek kissing isn’t as common. People usually greet with hugs, waves, or just “Hey!” Still, in some families, a quick kiss on the lips between a parent and child might happen. It’s not romantic—it’s just their way of expressing love.

Friends and Neighbors? Not So Fast…
Movies can exaggerate things. In real life, Westerners don’t usually kiss their friends or neighbors on the lips. If you see that in a film, it’s likely for drama or comedy. While friends might hug, cheek kiss, or do a “kiss on the air” (where their cheeks touch but lips don’t), lip kissing is rare outside romantic relationships or certain family dynamics.

So no your average American or Brit isn't kissing their neighbor on the lips after borrowing some sugar.

"Just like hugs. Hugs in Western culture can mean many things depending on the context. They’re often used to show support, gratitude, comfort, or friendship. In emotional situations like helping someone in need a hug can express what words can’t. It’s a deep, human connection. 

Not all hugs are romantic; many are just gestures of kindness and empathy. I saw in this video how a pregnant homeless woman hugged her helpers it really touched me. That kind of hug is called a gratitude hug, and it’s very common in the West. It's beautiful how a simple hug can mean so much.

In Indonesia, public displays of affection like hugging and kissing even between husband and wife are generally considered inappropriate, offensive, and disturbing to many. Such acts are usually kept private due to cultural and religious values that prioritize modesty and public decency..


You may read - Why Do Foreigners Speak So Many Languages?

Public Displays of Affection
One thing that’s definitely different from Indonesian culture is how public displays of affection (PDA) are viewed. In Western countries, it’s quite normal to see couples holding hands, hugging, or even kissing in public. Most people won’t stare or make a big deal out of it. But in more conservative or traditional societies (like ours), public affection might be seen as disrespectful or inappropriate.

A Cultural Reminder.What’s “normal” in one culture can be “shocking” in another. In Indonesia, physical touch is often reserved for close family or romantic partners—and even then, it’s mostly private. Meanwhile, in the West, showing affection physically is often a sign of openness, honesty, or comfort, not necessarily intimacy.

Kissing on the cheek or lips doesn't always carry the same meaning everywhere.

As someone who grew up in a culture where even holding hands can be controversial, watching these cultural differences play out on screen has been eye-opening. At first, I was confused. Then a bit shocked. But now I understand it’s not about being “too open” or “too loose.” It’s just a different way of expressing love and connection.

Culture shapes how we act, love, and even kiss.
Understanding those differences helps us see the world with more respect and less judgment.

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A Message From Asep Haryono

 

"Thank you so much for your time here. I really appreciate your precious moment here as well.  Please leave any comment down below.  Let me hear from you.  Greetings from Indonesia"

Tag : curahanhati - Asep Haryono | Accused of Stealing Bread Because of a Lookalike - Powered by Blogger

I just watched a video from Indonesia titled “Emosi Food Vlogger Dituduh Curi Lapis Legit Gegara Mukanya Mirip, Kesal Banyak Komentar Maling” (Food Vlogger Accused of Stealing Layer Cake Because of Her Similar Face, Upset About Many Thief Comments) by Tribun Sumsel.

The point is: a lady is angry because many people accused her of being a thief not because there’s proof, but simply because she looks like the person suspected of stealing in the video.

Imagine you’re a food vlogger your world revolves around good eats, trying out new restaurants, sharing recipes, and snapping drool-worthy food pics. Life is good, right? But then, out of nowhere, you're being called a thief. Not because anyone caught you in the act. Not because there’s any real \evidence. But because someone who kind of looks like you was seen in a blurry CCTV clip… stealing bread.

Yep, that actually happened. And honestly?
That’s not just frustrating it’s totally unfair.


Mistaken Identity: A Real Problem
We’ve all heard stories about people getting mistaken for someone else. It happens. People can share similar features, wear the same hairstyle, or dress alike. That doesn’t mean they’re guilty of a crime. But in this case, a female food vlogger got caught in a whirlwind of accusations just because her face resembled someone caught on grainy security footage.

This kind of mistaken identity is more than just awkward it can be dangerous. Especially in today’s online world where judgment happens fast and facts come way later.

As soon as the clip started making the rounds, the internet did what it always does people went wild. Commenters flooded the vlogger’s pages, calling her names, accusing her of being a thief, and basically trashing her character. No trial. No context. \Just instant judgment based on shaky footage and a hunch. Let’s be real here: social media isn’t the place to decide who’s guilty or innocent. Yet people treat it like it’s the ultimate courtroom. That rush to judge? It’s reckless. And it can ruin someone’s life.

Now think about what that must feel like. You’re minding your business, maybe editing a cute food video, when you open your phone and find a storm of hate comments. You’re being called dishonest and shady all for something you didn’t do.

That kind of public attack can seriously mess with someone’s mental health. Anxiety. Shame. Fear. It’s enough to make anyone want to disappear from the internet completely. And for what? A case of mistaken identity?

We’ve Gotta Do Better
Before we slam someone with accusations or hit “send” on that angry comment, let’s take a step back and ask ourselves: Do I actually know what happened? Could this be a misunderstanding? What if this person isn’t the one in the video?

Because if we’re wrong and there’s a good chance we might be we could be contributing to the destruction of someone’s peace, reputation, and career. All because we acted too fast. The food vlogger didn’t steal bread. She just happens to resemble someone who might have. That’s not a crime that’s just an unlucky coincidence.

So instead of jumping on the hate train, how about offering some support? Or, at the very least, giving her the benefit of the doubt until there’s actual proof?

Let’s choose kindness over chaos.
The internet has enough trolls already. 

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A Message From Asep Haryono

 

"Thank you so much for your time here. I really appreciate your precious moment here as well.  Please leave any comment down below.  Let me hear from you.  Greetings from Indonesia"

Tag : curahanhati - Asep Haryono | Why Do Foreigners Speak So Many Languages? - Powered by Blogger

I’ve always found this both funny and fascinating. I’ve watched many enutertaining YouTube videos like Just for Laughs: Gags, What Would You Do (WWYD), and Australian Border Force. These videos not only entertain me but also help me practice my English listening skills because I’m still on my English journey, by the way.

One hilarious video I recently watched was from BigDawsTV, titled “GOOGLE TRANSLATE GONE WRONG PRANK!!” It really made me laugh out loud. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend searching for it on YouTube. Just type the title in the search bar you won’t miss it!

This image taken from BigDawsTV Youtube Channel

But while watching it, something interesting popped into my head as an English learner: “Why are these foreigners able to speak so many different languages besides English?” They already speak English fluently so what motivates or enables them to speak French, Spanish, Arabic, or Chinese as well? That curiosity pushed me to dig deeper into the topic.

Why Foreigners Speak Multiple Languages
The more I researched and reflected, the more I realized that being multilingual isn’t just about being “smart.” There are actual reasons why some people learn foreign languages easily. It mostly comes down to environment, early exposure, necessity, and motivation.

In many countries especially in Europe and parts of Africa it’s normal for people to grow up speaking two or three languages. In places like Switzerland or Belgium, you’ll find children speaking French, German, Dutch, and English from a very young age. Their schools teach multiple languages, their neighbors speak different dialects, and crossing the border often means switching languages. It becomes a natural part of life.

Many of them also start early as kids which gives them a head start. Their brains absorb different sounds and structures more easily than adults do. And let’s not forget that many people are naturally curious and love learning languages just for fun, culture, or travel

Why Do Foreigners Speak So Many Languages?There’s actually a fascinating mix of reasons why many foreigners or more accurately, people in other countries often speak multiple languages. Let me break it down clearly:

 1. Education Systems Encourage It

·         In many countries, learning a second (or even third) language is mandatory from a young age.

·         For example, in Europe, it’s common for children to start learning English or French by age 6 or 7. Some countries require two foreign languages in school.

 

2. Smaller Native Language Populations

·         People whose first language has fewer global speakers often learn other languages to communicate internationally.

·         Example: Swiss or Dutch people might speak 3–4 languages because their own language is limited globally.

 

3. Cultural and Economic Reasons

·         Multilingualism opens doors to better jobs, education, and travel opportunities.

·         Many countries are more interconnected, so speaking multiple languages is practical for business and tourism.

 

4. Exposure Through Media

·         Watching foreign movies, TV shows, or online content can make learning languages easier.

·         Europeans, for example, often watch shows in English without dubbing, which naturally improves their language skills.

 

5. Geography

·         People living near borders or in regions with multiple ethnic groups are often bilingual or trilingual.

·         Example: In Belgium, people speak French, Dutch, and sometimes German, depending on the region.

 

6. Cognitive and Social Benefits

·   Many foreigners grow up seeing multilingualism as normal, so their brains develop flexibility in picking up languages.

·   Socially, knowing multiple languages makes it easier to communicate with neighbors, friends, or business partners.

 

In short: foreigners often speak many languages because their societies value multilingualism, smaller native languages push them to learn others, and geography or daily exposure encourages it. For many, it’s just a natural part of life.

You may also read - "Things Foreign Tourists Always Ask About Indonesia".


The Difference: Foreign Language vs. Second Language
This brings me to the terms “second language” and “foreign language”, which are often misunderstood. So what’s the difference?

• Learning English as a Second Language (ESL) means I am learning English in a country where it is spoken daily like the U.S., UK, Canada, or Australia. People in that situation are surrounded by English, so they need to use it to work, study, shop, or socialize. It becomes part of their daily survival.

• On the other hand, learning English as a Foreign Language (EFL) means I am learning English in a country where it is not used every day like my country,Indonesia. That’s my case. I don’t use English at the market, at school, or while talking with neighbors. I have to actively seek out English by watching YouTube, reading, or writing blog posts like this one.

That’s what makes my journey different. I’m learning English as a foreign language, and I need to create opportunities to practice. It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely rewarding.

This is me with the Collins COBUILD English Dictionary. I’ll share the background story of this dictionary in my next blog post. This photo was taken a few years ago at my home

My Language Learning Journey
So no, I didn’t grow up speaking five languages. But that’s okay. I’m proud to say I’m learning English step by step from Indonesia, on my own terms. Watching videos, reading articles, blogging, and engaging online all help me make progress.

Every new word I learn is a small victory. I might not be fluent in several languages (yet), but I enjoy the process. And for me, that’s what really matters.


Are you learning English like me where it’s not spoken around you every day?

Or are you living in a place where English is part of daily life?

I’d love to hear your story. Leave a comment below, and feel free to share this post with fellow learners!

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A Message From Asep Haryono

 

"Thank you so much for your time here. I really appreciate your precious moment here as well.  Please leave any comment down below.  Let me hear from you.  Greetings from Indonesia"