Why Do Westerners Kiss So Much? A Cultural Perspective from My EyesAsep Haryono's Blog Asep Haryono Personal Blog From Indonesia

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I’ve watched countless Western movies romantic comedies, family dramas, even light-hearted sitcoms and one thing keeps catching my attention: kissing everywhere. Not just between lovers, but sometimes between friends, neighbors, or even family members. And I’m not just talking about a polite kiss on the cheek sometimes it’s a real kiss on the lips! As someone from Indonesia, I couldn't help but wonder, "Is this really how they live in real life?"

I try to find out and dive into this fascinating part of Western culture and see what’s really going on.

Minimal illustration of people kissing in different relationships on a beige background

First, Not All Kisses Mean Romance
In many Western cultures, kissing isn’t always romantic. Shocking, I know. In places like France, Italy, or Spain, greeting someone with a kiss on the cheek is totally normal even between men. It’s kind of like our handshake, but more personal. It says, “Hey, we’re close. We’re comfortable.” You’ll see this mostly between friends or family.

But here’s the twist: in the U.S. or U.K., cheek kissing isn’t as common. People usually greet with hugs, waves, or just “Hey!” Still, in some families, a quick kiss on the lips between a parent and child might happen. It’s not romantic—it’s just their way of expressing love.

Friends and Neighbors? Not So Fast…
Movies can exaggerate things. In real life, Westerners don’t usually kiss their friends or neighbors on the lips. If you see that in a film, it’s likely for drama or comedy. While friends might hug, cheek kiss, or do a “kiss on the air” (where their cheeks touch but lips don’t), lip kissing is rare outside romantic relationships or certain family dynamics.

So no your average American or Brit isn't kissing their neighbor on the lips after borrowing some sugar.

"Just like hugs. Hugs in Western culture can mean many things depending on the context. They’re often used to show support, gratitude, comfort, or friendship. In emotional situations like helping someone in need a hug can express what words can’t. It’s a deep, human connection.

Not all hugs are romantic; many are just gestures of kindness and empathy. I saw in this video how a pregnant homeless woman hugged her helpers it really touched me. That kind of hug is called a gratitude hug, and it’s very common in the West. It's beautiful how a simple hug can mean so much.

In Indonesia, public displays of affection like hugging and kissing even between husband and wife are generally considered inappropriate, offensive, and disturbing to many. Such acts are usually kept private due to cultural and religious values that prioritize modesty and public decency..

Public Displays of Affection
One thing that’s definitely different from Indonesian culture is how public displays of affection (PDA) are viewed. In Western countries, it’s quite normal to see couples holding hands, hugging, or even kissing in public. Most people won’t stare or make a big deal out of it. But in more conservative or traditional societies (like ours), public affection might be seen as disrespectful or inappropriate.

A Cultural Reminder.What’s “normal” in one culture can be “shocking” in another. In Indonesia, physical touch is often reserved for close family or romantic partners—and even then, it’s mostly private. Meanwhile, in the West, showing affection physically is often a sign of openness, honesty, or comfort, not necessarily intimacy.

Kissing on the cheek or lips doesn't always carry the same meaning everywhere.

As someone who grew up in a culture where even holding hands can be controversial, watching these cultural differences play out on screen has been eye-opening. At first, I was confused. Then a bit shocked. But now I understand it’s not about being “too open” or “too loose.” It’s just a different way of expressing love and connection.

Culture shapes how we act, love, and even kiss.
Understanding those differences helps us see the world with more respect and less judgment.

A Message From Asep Haryono

"Thank you so much for your time here. I really appreciate your precious moment here as well. Please leave any comment down below. Let me hear from you. Greetings from Indonesia"